After the weekend, I saw the world with new eyes. It’s hard not to after you’ve just been on a journey discovering everything about yourself you’ve kept hidden from public view.
The girl inside me that still dreams big went on to fulfill her goals, including a big smile on her face that was missing for a while. Sleep still eludes me but I have started accomplishing things earlier in my day which has been very gratifying. The latter part of my day has been spent blogging and catching up on the books piled up in my apartment.
Today, my last goal of working out almost escaped me. I had shared in the class that I was lazy about working out. This I discovered was out of a need for comfort because working out is challenging and hard and something I can’t be bothered with. Another woman I met in the class, Marit, shared the same challenge and we bonded over the same desire to look better but not doing anything about it. The intention was there but we weren’t focused on getting the result.
She challenged me to come out today and I could automatically feel the excuses building up in my head. It’s amazing how those programs fire up as soon you’re faced with something you’re uncomfortable with. I immediately thought of a meeting I had and was so satisfied that I had a way of getting out of working out. Isn’t that sad? I was defeating myself and my goal and I was happy about it. My intention to win was overcome by a bigger need to lose. I’m glad she persisted though and even offered to let me know that I could shower at her place and she would pay for the first class thereby giving me no excuse to not workout.
I’m glad I didn’t back down and joined her. It was a tough workout and I enjoyed the energy of the women around me including Marit and her daughter Alice. I also enjoyed our chat afterward over a great cup of tea. We have taken our friendship to another level and I have made a new habit that I actually enjoy.
My two black votes escape me. Will working out be the way I repay myself? What will I do for someone else? And I need to talk to Lyla and Tim about my LFC book plan and the worldwide movement. I still have a lot on my plate but it’s ok. Goals are good for the soul.