Ryan’s Roses: a dozen roses with thorns?

In the age of over-sharing, I can understand the need to embrace social media and communicate with your audience. It’s vital. It’s healthy. It’s important. So, I don’t mind when you check into your favorite restaurant on FourSquare and tell me how great the food is, which section to sit in, and heck I don’t even mind you listing all the cute waitresses. You can even share a few photos, tag them on Facebook, Twitter, and take a video and post it up on YouTube; it’s all acceptable. It’s all within the range of savvy social media practices but where I draw the line, and maybe this is just me, is your personal drama. We’ve all heard the phrase “leave your baggage at the door, pick it up on your way out.” If that’s the case, why do people feel the need to drag it around with them until it builds up into a landfill and spews into every facet of their life?

What’s been bothering me for a while like a mosquito on a summer’s day is Ryan Seacrest and his Ryan’s Roses program. I’m not all too convinced that it has anyone’s best interest at heart and solely serves as a source of ratings and much like that mosquito; it bleeds people of their inner most secrets until they are stripped bare of their problems for all the world to scrutinize, listen in on, and then call in to share their insights of the scenario that just aired. The Ryan’s Roses segment involves a caller, usually a woman, who is concerned that her boyfriend or husband may be cheating on her. Once the details are mapped out; another on show guest “Patty” calls the boyfriend or husband pretending to be a florist offering a service involving a free dozen roses that will be sent to anyone the guy chooses. It is Patty’s goal to get the name and address of the recipient. In almost all cases, the husband or boyfriend chooses another name and from there a soap opera plays out. Ryan interjects and demands to know why the roses are being sent to another woman while the girlfriend or wife listens in. The other party is now upset and you can imagine what happens next.

As the drama is being played out on air, there are no conclusions reached and we never learn why the flowers are being sent to another woman. Instead, Seacrest suggests that the couple now take this off air and “discuss” their problems at home. So what was the whole point in calling anyway? To learn that your significant other is cheating on you? And just how happy will he be to discuss those problems once they’ve been shared to the rest of the world? It amazes me (it shouldn’t but it does) that women are so willing to call in and lay their lives bare for others to judge. Actions like these make it hard to strip the rest of us women of the title of “drama queen” and while a minority of us try to maintain a low profile, a high number of women continue to lack self respect and common sense.

Ryan’s Roses makes it easy for society to feed off drama and the problems of everyday people. These normal people now become the celebrities once they choose to air their issues and allow those at work or stuck in traffic to escape their current predicament and delve into a situation that is worse than theirs. I suppose you can call it group therapy with no resolution. Are you better off or worse after you’ve let the whole world into your drama? I’d like to know if the relationships actually survived? How many of these end up in divorce or breakups? If the number is staggeringly high, who is Ryan Seacrest serving? Divorce attorneys? Counselors?

Best practice and my own personal advice: we as women know our gut instincts. If you think he’s cheating, you’re probably right. Just start the dialogue and confess what you’re feeling. Don’t call a radio show and make us out to look weak, powerless, defenseless idiots and don’t embarrass the guy. It won’t lead to any conclusions and you’ll never get your answer; instead you’ve just provided Seacrest with an ego boost, ratings, given countless people some cheap entertainment all while destroying your life.

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