A Letter to Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I love you. I really do. I joined early on before I even knew what you could become or what power you held over me. I joined because my sister told me you were “cool.” I left Friendster and MySpace to be with you. That’s how loyal I am. I was there amongst your chaos when your site was all about games and sharing frivolous things like potted plants that grew in 5 days on someone’s wall. I also played SuperPoke and threw sheep at my friends. Then, I became a Zynga lover and grew a virtual farm (can’t believe I just admitted that) even though I hate farming in real life but somehow the cheesy music and graphics were appealing for a short time and I loved it when neighbors visited to fertilize my crops or left cows and pigs on my wall however that got old really fast and I blocked every single game. But that’s ok. I still love you.

Then came the NEW Facebook. Remember that? Of course you do. I joined the bandwagon on hating the new Facebook. I didn’t care to know what people were doing on a regular basis, what they were posting on their walls, etc until *ding, ding, ding* the light bulb went off.  Hey, Facebook is no longer fun and games; it’s a brilliant marketing tool. Bring on the updates. Let’s see how I can monetize this sucker.

Facebook, you make changes everyday. I grumble and complain but I accept them. It’s what you do. I can’t quit you because you are the tool that allows me to engage with my friends and family to see what they are up to. I get important information from you that I can’t find in the news however I have one complaint: stop selling yourself to me. If I visit you on a regular basic, I don’t want to know about your services and offers. I don’t want to click on your friend finder to find more friends and I’m not giving you passwords to other social networking sites so you can dig the hole deeper and gain information on me.

I hate that you give me no option to block these ads.  Sure, I can click the little “X” but that only takes the ad away for a short time and instead of disappearing all together, you want me to answer a short survey about why I didn’t like your ad. Grr! Can’t you realize I’ve had enough?! Don’t be so moody and temperamental just because I don’t like your ad.  I also hate that I now see gaming requests on the left and right hand side panels. I thought you were streamlining that process. Most of us just want to know what our friends are up, not necessarily the games they are playing.  Haven’t you heard of the “I don’t care about your farm, mafia, etc” group. Yeah, it grows everyday and after playing Farmville for a while I quickly became a member as well.

Aside from that, I think you’re great. I really do. I cheated on Friendster and MySpace to be with you and I’ll always be here despite your schemes and pathetic attempts to woo me deeper down your rabbit hole. You already have me; just don’t be so desperate. It’s not appealing and so very unbecoming of you. Just stay cool and casual like you were when we first met.  I’m sure you’ll make more friends that way and hear fewer complaints.

Love,

Suki

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