Lately I’ve realized I’ve been so caught up in my online world that I’ve ignored a few warning signs in my life. It’s nothing serious or life threatening but just some things that I’ve neglected or ignored. What brought me out of my tech coma was a simple malfunction and a lost signal. It caused a fury, a mini temper tantrum, and after a tirade of choice curse words when the problem still wasn’t resolved I realized there was simply nothing I could do but stare out into space. That brief moment brought a clear sense of clarity to my life. Some would equate it to the precious moments before death when everything in your life becomes crystal clear. Well I suppose, the death of a beloved tech toy can have the same effect. I saw my life as it is now, how it was evolving, the choices I was making, and realized something wasn’t right. I’m simply not who I used to be. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. For almost two years, I’ve been stuck in a rut, a perpetual funk, and slowly a form of depression has sunk in so deep I can’t even realize it anymore so I’ve been hiding behind this mask trying to resolve a problem I know nothing about.
I think I miss who I was. I miss having to be somewhere everyday, having a sense of direction, and a purpose. When you’re on the outskirts of your own life, it can be hard to steer a course when you don’t know where you’re headed. So no I don’t need Xanax or anti-depressants, I just think I needed the realization so I could set myself straight again and get back on track. This picture was taken with my iPhone and is a constant reminder of the exact spot I looked up and saw my life as it now. It is my mirror and I’m glad it was a beautiful sunset. I see it as my horizon and a reminder that life isn’t over and I can change course at any time. Sometimes we just need to stop, listen, and thank the universe for the small things that could potentially save us.